


Your Worst Enemy Who Knows Your Every Secret

by TheScarlettShadows



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Gen, M/M, Multi, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-02
Updated: 2015-01-02
Packaged: 2018-03-05 00:12:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3097754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheScarlettShadows/pseuds/TheScarlettShadows
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based off a prompt on tumblr.<br/>Bucky was Steve's best friend. Now Bucky is  Steve's worst enemy. His only goal in life is to mess up everything for Steve. How far he gets in that mission is uncertain.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Your Worst Enemy Who Knows Your Every Secret

It's incredibly difficult to taunt your ex-best-friend-now-worst-enemy  
with your ex-girlfriend-when-you-were-both-brainwashed-now-in-an-open-relationship-with-him  
and her partner-but-not-boyfriend-because-she-will-cut-you-but-her-friend-with-benefits-who-also-has-sex-with-him-and-its-open-don't-judge-him-he's-a-criminal-he-can-kill-you-and-get-away-with-it  
joking in Russian in your ear. 

James mentally had to sepearate those into seperate lines because it was confusing, even to him. He was also tempted to take out the earpiece and crush it between two fingers, but Steve was staring at him across the cavern with those mournful blue eyes ad he didn't want to give Steve anymore ammunition that possible. The idiot had already brought up his nightlight. Even retorting with the number of trips to the A&E wasn't enough to soothe the burn. It was annoying, but thank his metal arm that Steve's teammates in Army code-names and terrible outfits weren't there with those smirks that said they found it funny but wanted to keep their appearance of serious and amazing superheros. Even in a dark and dank cavern.

He was standing there, feeling the mold invade his skin, because he was paying off his rent. He needed the money. And the only way to get that was through stealing. If he got a job he would probably be arrested by 50 different intelligence communities and every letter in the alphabet soup of officials. The previously named Pied-Piper's-Pipe-now-called-Vermin-Tin-Thing (it doesn't make sense but it was Clint's idea, we blame it on Torchwood and Ianto Jones) was in his belt bag and he really should be going now, but the temptation to leave with a sassy one-liner was too great.  
"I'll send you a horse with the recovery money. I know how much you like them."  
James then turned around and ran down the corridor, dodging the spikes and burst of fire that every self-respecting cavern had, smirking at the image of Steve's face, and how it couldn't decide on which emotion to choose. Shock, horror, disgust, despair, and best of all, fear. 

James would never, for however long his life is, and no matter the amount of memory brainwashing, forget the month after the Hydra base. Steve had gotten injected with the serum, fought a bunch of really bad guys, rescued him, and had decided that he was invincible. So they were stranded in the countryside, and the gallant Steve had given Diggle his motorbike to head to the next city and report. The rest of them were finding a base and starting a fire. But Steve wanted to find them shelter, and there was horse, and a plume of smoke on the horizon, so Bucky went to help him mount. Unfortunately, by the time he was seated on the horse, he had discovered that he was allergic to horses. It seemed to be the one thing that the serum had not counted for. But he was seated on the horse, when it bucked and threw him off, landing him in a pile of horse dung. He was forced to surrender, backing away with hives covering his face, and repeated coughing. It had gone after a couple of minutes, so he was the only one who knew of Steve's humiliation. But if the spangled man wanted to bring up his nightlight, all's fair in love and war.

\---

James ended up spending the majority of money on the ridiculous amount of rent that Clint had, he was going to kill him if he didn't move out soon, Natali-Natasha be dammed. The rest went on a hideous outfit. James did have standards, so he wouldn't involve a horse in their relationship, so he had to find another way to assault Steve. His vision. Bright yellow wool with light green felt edging and a purple undershirt. Textures of every kind were layered onto the trousers, with beads and flowers in every unimaginable place. It had cost so much because no designer was willing to take on such a hideous job. A red mask with green splashes of paint covered his face, so Natasha wouldn't be able to recognize him. However, she had seen the outfit, and promised to help him. Any digital photos would be sent to their account and wiped off the internet. It was the best offer he would get.

Several days later, Natasha reported that she had found Rodgers. He was in New York, visiting Tony Stark. Immediately, he changed and made his way to the city, robbed a Walmart, and started walking down the street. In no time, Captain America was stood infront of him, eyes wide with horror. James grinned at a job well done, dropped the stolen banana peel (he had eaten the banana), before taking off. He ditched the outfit, kept the cash, and laid low at Clint's for a while. The mob living there stayed away from him and his metal arm, and he was relatively stress free.

\---

When James went back to Brooklyn, he was unprepared when he finally came home (the only place which hadn't changed from the 20s) and a bucket of flour dropped on his head. He sneezed and shook it off, knowing that the perpetrator was long gone. Probably Natasha. He took a step forward and felt the push of a trip wire, concealed by the haze of flour dust. Honey started oozing from every corner of his flat- the coffee machine and bathroom sink included. On the tabletop in the centre of the room was a note, untouched by the honey that was coming from the edges of the ceiling. He was burning this building later, there was no one else living here. He would even phone the fire station beforehand. 

James pulled himself to the table and picked up the note.  
'You shouldn't be staying in the same house for all these years. Change is good for an old man like you. And why would you keep the spare key in the same flowerpot after all these years? Your sweet friend.'  
James swore and tore the paper apart, watching it fall to the honey (there was no longer a floor), before collecting everything he wanted and making his way out of the house. The structural damage was probably fatal to an old building like that one. His metal arm was gumming up as he phoned the station and set fire to the main entrance. He made his way to a small alley before calling Natasha. 

Natasha didn't arrive until his arm had stopped moving and his head was spinning due to the scent of honey. He was covered head to toe in the stuff, and he needed to get it off. This would be ingenious, if it wasn't so insanely annoying.

\---

The war was on.

\---

SHIELD HQ was gratified from its Ground Floor to the 41st. Banksy was temporarily on a watch list for desecrating a government building. It was retracted a few hours later.

The running champion The_Invisible_Man of an online chess tournament was lost to StarsAndStripes with the message, 'you've been using that strategy since you were five'. A gold king was also restored to the Chess Museum. 

The banks were hacked and a million dollars was taken from the Bank Of America. Their code also changed so that every time Steve walked within 20 feet of one, they started to play 'The Star Spangled Man', and this couldn't be fixed for 2 months when Tony got so frustrated and managed to find the hidden code.

Major safety deposit boxes became magnetic, and a clunking sound was reported from banks, as though a heavy weight had struck them.

Yellow rubber ducks covered the streets of Manhattan, giving off fainting gas to anyone within five feet.

A revised biography of 'James Bucky Barnes' was released, with baby pictures drawn by Captain America.

Pictures of Steve in his original costume and booty shorts trended on every social network. Many were also given identical messages from a testing company.

'Emma' became a second time bestseller after Steve lauded its praises to anyone who would listen. Everyone who owned a copy found a smoldering wreck that used to be a book within the month.

Every art gallery in Washington was forced to close for a week after their security systems were hacked. The chocolates from the gist store dissapeared from each.

Lindt was to told to and therefore tripled their price for the Hazelnut Supreme.

Clint's hearing aids went missing.

The wings on Captain America#s cowl went missing.

Clint found his heading aids. One was down the back of the sofa and the other behind the coffee machine.

Steve was issued new wings made from gold and titanium.

\---

James faced Steve from the other side of the compound, ready to charge. Steve readied his shield. Allies from both sides paused in their own battles and turned to watch, holding their breath. James started to run, gathering speed as he leaped from foot to foot. The shield was thrown and Steve chased after it, his costume becoming a red and blue blur. James dodged the shield, ducking underneath it, then rugby tackling Steve to the ground. Steve twisted in midair to slam James to the ground. 

An agent on the side whimpered, face turning blue as they still held their breath. Clint cheerfully waved, happy to wait another three minutes. 

James kneed Steve in the groin and discovered that becoming a superhero didn't get rid of people with penises main weak point. Natasha cheered. Clint winced in sympathy.

A metal arm flung the Captain to the side, and everyone hastily breathed in. Then held their breath as the two clashed again and again. 

At some point, AIM turned up, aiming to take advantage of the chaos. They saw the battle, decided that there was a limit on how much the city could take, and left again. 

One of James' mercenaries fainted, and a first aid team rushed to help, moving him off site so he could breathe again.

Steve finally got James in a hold on the floor, trapping his arms between their bodies, an arm braced against his neck, and a knee ontop of his crotch, pinning him down. 

James bucked several times, but he was losing strength and was scared that he couldn't have children. Or have sex with Natasha. He would need to distract Steve.

His head darted up and he kissed Steve's cheek. The man's eyes became glazed and James pushed him off and started to turn away. Steve came at him again, knocking him back to the floor. 

They were sprawled on-top of each other, James held down by Steve's massive bulk. The cowl had fallen off, and his blond hair flopped against his face, streaked with sweat and mud. His face hovered slightly above James;, and he paused there, before James darted up and kissed him again, but made no effort to run away.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry if there are any mistakes, I didn't have a beta. And also sorry if the ending is too quick for you. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed the fic, and feel free to leave a kudos or comment. <3


End file.
